Gu Rou Chen,
I can only disagree with your post on the premise of your one line "impossible to relax" when being thrown.
I have not found that to be true. I have been able to relax through the experience of being thrown using TCC techniques, I have taught others to do so as well.
In fact, I have found it much easier to relax during those times than when thrown by hard style friends whom I have sparred with. That moment when you realise you are being thrown and are no longer in control of your center is the trigger for me, and is what I have used to teach others, to relax. As soon as you realise that you are not in control of your own center, this is the perfect time to relax, whether you are being thrown or not. It is only if you tense up that you cannot regain your center, if you relax you have a much greater chance of salvaging the situaton BEFORE you get thrown, and if you don't then you are in a much better position to accept and redirect the force of meeting the ground when you are.
As stated, breathing out on impact is crucial. I was taught a seemingly strange way to do this, it is called "laughter".
Yes, laughter, that's what I said.
When I get thrown or offset I laugh out loud. It comes from being trained to laugh when offset during push hands at the Academy. Laughing when you've been offset has always helped me to maintain my composure, instead of getting angry about being offset I was taught to laugh it off. So that's what I did, all the time. It makes pushing hands a lot more fun, for one thing, releases the tension wonderfully, for another. The byproducts of this are a lot of hilarity at the Academy during push hands AND that as a group we tended to laugh rather than curse and overanalyze when being offset.
This carried over to my training on falling correctly. When I would feel my body leaving the ground, it always felt to me as the ultimate form of being offset (naturally) and since I had trained myself to laugh when being offset I just naturally laughed when being thrown. This laughter causes you to breath out (go ahead, try to laugh and breath in at the same time, I can wait), so you are automatically breathing out as you sail through the air and land on the ground, fulfilling quite nicely the requirement to breath out on impact.
Laughter is very relaxing, for the most part, helping to fulfill the requirement that you relax as you sail through the air with the greatest of ease.
Being thrown by hard stylists doesn't give me the same feeling as when being thrown by an internal artist, so I don't laugh as naturally, hence I'm more tense and I don't find it as easy to breath out.
No one ever told me if this laughter when offset was a tried and true Wu family training technique or if it was a technique thought up by my Sifu at the Academy I attended. I never thought to ask, to be honest.
Maybe Polaris can clarify if this is a widespread Wu stle technique for us?
I just know it works, very well, so I still use it to this day.
Ask my wife sometime about the day I slipped on ice and fell down a flight of stone steps flat on my back. I was laughing my head off every inch of the way down. She thought I lost my mind, and still does whenever I bring it up, but I was honestly amused at the situation and, true to my training, as soon as I felt my bodies center get away from my control I laughed and relaxed. I slid all the way down those stone steps and landed in an ungraceful heap at the bottom, laughing like a lunatic the whole time and completely unharmed by any of it.
If nothing else, we were a fun bunch to be around during push hands and sparring training.
Give this a try sometime when you're pushing hands, it really does work. You will be much more relaxed, no matter if your training is going well that day or not. When you laugh, you can't help but breath out and release tension.
Works for me anyway.