Hi Ripdo, and All,
fwiw, I agree with Mario's and other's opinion that "soft" does not mean "mushy" or "weak" or "unrooted". I tend to prefer the term "soft", but I guess the question is about the interpretation of "rou" being to defeat "gan" (hard), and the "flexible and yielding can overcome the inflexible and unyielding." Even though this is found in the tjq Classics, I'm not sure that it's strictly a tjq concept. Perhaps on another thread, Audi asked about the relation of western wrestling strategies and techniques to tjq techniques. Mario, I believe, rightly, sees a comparison between the skill-sets needed for a good judo, or aikido, student and those needed for tjq. "Listening," attention to balance, "rooting" when necessary, etc. OK, even if we don't see the comparison, which some do, there's not really a question about whether judo/aikido, etc., "works". This gets to Ripdo's question. There are arguments about which is "more" effective, judo or tkd, say. But, few argue that they can not see the possible effectiveness of these arts. IMHO, part of the reason is that, for lots of reasons, striking has not been emphasized in most tjq schools. More specifically, the majority of tjq schools, if they have a martial curriculum, "do" emphasize striking. Tim Cartmell, probably the most well known, and others, like Frank De Maria, practice tjq that has been influenced by shuai jiao. The reason that many of the fighters YLC, and his descendants, had to beat were wrestlers. (I should put this in the appropriate thread, but I'm busy grading papers. Anyway, there are two basic approaches to a "shoot" (or single-leg take down): 1) don't let the opponent grab the leg; or, 2), let him. There are plenty of things in the form to help, depending on what one wants to do. In a very general sense, it has been suggested that "if one is grabbed, hit; if one is hit, grab.") Anyway, I personally think the Classics suggest that everything is relative. I don't think one can quantify "soft." I take the advice to mean that one must always attempt to use "less" brute force than the opponent --only because one can never depend on having "more." Of course, that's the only way an older, weaker person can defeat a younger, stronger one. If one can master the art of "using" softness, then it's possible. How long it takes? Mostly it will depend on your training. It will take "no less" than it takes for any other martial art. It's really simple to teach someone how to effectively harm someone else. How to defend oneself from the 400lb wrestler is another thing. Defending your children from a hungry bear is yet another case. Motivation is also very important. Well, this has gotten too long, but I'll say that, although it may not be an idea specific to tjq, if one can defeat oneself, then one's art has reached its pinnacle --at that point.
Best,
Steve James

I may also be in search of a "clue" and a good sense of humor
, but with only so many hours in the day, I take what I can find.