No worries, Bob, I much prefer the slang of my childhood and it makes me feel so...snooty grandma-ish to try to use the "One could..." convention. I like to say "you" when I mean "one" and I like to say "they" when I mean "she he or it." Yet my mother, whose third language was English, trained me rigorously in English grammar so I generally know when I'm breaking the “rules.” And my childhood Hicksville (small town) slang is complicated by many hours of reading big books when there was no one around to talk to (Yes! Dangling participle!). As a consequence, I mispronounce many words I know from print but never heard until it was too late. But English is such a mish-mash of other languages and grammars that it’s a miracle that anyone manages to speak it at all.
Fortunately for me, I had one semester as a linguistics major where I learned the terms "prescriptive linguistics" and "descriptive linguistics" (de Saussure) before discovering that linguistics as a whole was a rather, erm, constipating field. See here for an example: http://people.ucsc.edu/~cgpotts/writing1-36-linguistic-claims.pdf
And here’s further definition: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prescriptive_linguistics
"Prescriptive linguistics" attempts to say how a language ought to be spoken. Examples are attempts to make people speak “Standard English” or the “King’s English” or the French government’s attempt to prohibit all non-French words from entering the language. No lie, they have government officials whose job it is to find French words for encroaching American ones: http://classweb.gmu.edu/eshiraev/facts.html
“Descriptive linguistics” tries to describe language as it is actually used, and does not say “This is right” and “This is wrong.” I prefer this one myself—it lets me justify how I write and speak. My favorite word is Papua New Guinean pidgin for “helicopter.” The word is “mixmaster belong jesus christ.” Mixmaster is a machine for preparing food with a whirling blade. The missionaries taught that Jesus Christ lives in the sky. Here are some more for fun: http://paxnortona.notfrisco2.com/?p=2595
and some other good words from other languages: http://www.wordswithoutborders.org/article.php?lab=InOtherWords
OK, sorry for being so off-topic! I love words about as much as I love tai chi (though I don’t retain them well). I’m going to stop geekin’ out right about now.